sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
