If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
