I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
