I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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