remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize