Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
