Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
