I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
God, I missed his penis.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
