we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
