It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
