smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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