What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
