so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
