I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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