We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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