You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
