found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
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They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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