what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
