it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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