dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
