is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
tell me about the fingering
Randomize