maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
