are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
