You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I look better un-naked...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
