she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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