No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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