I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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