I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
NoShamevember. You game?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
