how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
