don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think weed is turning my hair brown
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So. Much. Porn.
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