I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
