Quick, to the slutcave!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
