Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
