It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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