What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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