Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I faked an abortion last night.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
