Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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