absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize