at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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