Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
