party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
