plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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