i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she pinky promised me she was 18
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
