so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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