So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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