If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Everclear isn't food dammit
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
