Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
