i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
