Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
