Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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