Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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