No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
