I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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