you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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