Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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