How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
