Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
