The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
