hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
