So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
