I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
