Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
