Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
