I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
