i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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