How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
