she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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