haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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