i just had sex bonerless
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
