Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
