I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
not ubering you a puppy
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
