As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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