yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
