where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the condom got lost in my hair
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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